Turning 40 was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I was surrounded by all the people I loved and who loved me as well. I always knew they cared, but for some reason sitting there in front of my cake with 40 smoking candles looking up and seeing all the smiles and realizing they were there for me! They could be any where that day and they chose to be with me! This was a real eye opener. People do care and think the world of me and weren't afraid to tell me. It was at this time that I began to evaluate my life. I had and still have an amazing family and great friends. I would do anything for them as they would do for me. I had devoted all I had to them and enjoyed every minute of it, but things were about to change and was I really ready? My son would be heading off to University soon, my daughter is going to want to be with her friends more and where would I be?
I am now a middle aged woman who has let herself go thinking it was the right thing to do in order to care for everyone else. I had put my life on hold for them. I am not complaining, I would do it all over again, but this time I would slip in a bit more me time so I won't end up where I am now . . . I had every opportunity to take care of myself, in fact my husband encouraged it all the time, but I chose not to for whatever reason. Maybe I felt guilty spending precious time on myself when I could be spending it with my family, who really knows, all I know is that I have a lot of work to do. I need to try and get myself back. I needed to find Eva, not mom, not daughter, not wife, not sister, not care giver, but EVA!!! How on earth would I ever do that?
Trying to get "me" back. I realized that I had never been anywhere by myself in over 20 years. thought I was independent, but realized that I was really dependent, strong, but dependent. If I wasn't with my husband/children, I was with a friend. I am over weight, have high cholesterol, slightly blocked arteries in my legs and have no idea where to start.
This is where my journey begins . . . No better time than the present . . .
Thursday, March 25, 2010
NO BETTER TIME THAN THE PRESENT . . .
Turning 40 was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I was surrounded by all the people I loved and who loved me as well. I always knew they cared, but for some reason sitting there in front of my cake with 40 smoking candles looking up and seeing all the smiles and realizing they were there for me! They could be any where that day and they chose to be with me! This was a real eye opener. People do care and think the world of me and weren't afraid to tell me. It was at this time that I began to evaluate my life. I had and still have an amazing family and great friends. I would do anything for them as they would do for me. I had devoted all I had to them and enjoyed every minute of it, but things were about to change and was I really ready? My son would be heading off to University soon, my daughter is going to want to be with her friends more and where would I be?
I am now a middle aged woman who has let herself go thinking it was the right thing to do in order to care for everyone else. I had put my life on hold for them. I am not complaining, I would do it all over again, but this time I would slip in a bit more me time so I won't end up where I am now . . . I had every opportunity to take care of myself, in fact my husband encouraged it all the time, but I chose not to for whatever reason. Maybe I felt guilty spending precious time on myself when I could be spending it with my family, who really knows, all I know is that I have a lot of work to do. I need to try and get myself back. I needed to find Eva, not mom, not daughter, not wife, not sister, not care giver, but EVA!!! How on earth would I ever do that?
Trying to get "me" back. I realized that I had never been anywhere by myself in over 20 years. thought I was independent, but realized that I was really dependent, strong, but dependent. If I wasn't with my husband/children, I was with a friend. I am over weight, have high cholesterol, slightly blocked arteries in my legs and have no idea where to start.
This is where my journey begins . . . No better time than the present . . .
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