UPDATES . . .

Had a good weekend, went for a hike with my family and got very close to nature . . . a little closer to some creatures than I would have liked, but it was fun once my heart came back out of my stomach. Set up the trailer and looking forward to using it soon. I didn't watch my calorie intake, counting calories was driving me crazy and taking up way too much time. I thought that is what I should be doing in order to be successful. I realized that when I was just eating what I felt like eating I stayed the same weight. When I started watching what I ate and ate what I thought I should be eating, I started gaining weight. So lets try as a wise women told me to cut out junk and eat what your body craves. So that is what I am going to do. I will still keep a food journal, but not stress myself out with the counting. Still exercising well, proud of that. The weather is amazing today, the garden is planted and growing nicely. Mars even noticed some currents and blueberries growing. She can't wait until they are ready to eat. May go for a nice, long walk after dinner and enjoy this weather while I can.

WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY . . .

The last two days have been hard. I am so tired and haven't had the energy to prepare things as I usually do. I have no time now that my job is starting earlier. Last couple weeks were perfect. I got up normal time, got the kids off to school and did my exercises because my job didn't start until 11:00. Did those, and other things I needed to and was done with it. Worked out perfectly, no stresses!!! I don't want to resort back to old habits as I was starting to last couple days. Very disappointed with myself over yesterdays events. Not only did I not follow my routine for the day, I also, I am ashamed to say hunted through the house to find my daughters chocolate that she hid from me. To see the disappointment in her face when she heard what I did just tore at my heart. I have tears in my eyes as I type. How does that happen? It was as if I was an addict looking for my next fix??? Well I guess if you think about it I am . . . addicted to food. I am not going to beat myself up over it as I normally would have and use this as an excuse to stuff myself with anything and everything. Instead I have learned that I need to find the time to prepare foods and exercise or I will be grabbing at anything and everything that are probably unhealthy and not filling at all. How can I accomplish this . . . I set my clock to wake me up earlier this morning and I got up, did my exercises, ate breakfast, got the kids off to school, tidied and was done in time for my work to start. No more excuses. Where there's a will, there's a way. I have stuck to this routine this long now, the longest I have ever stuck to any routine and am proud of myself for that and I am not going to let these minor upsets ruin it. There are no problems too big that they can't be solved . . . .

DAY 44 . . .

FOOD JOURNAL . . . BREAKFAST - NOTHING . . . LUNCH - 2 PIECES MELBA TOAST, LF TURKEY AND SLICE LF CHEESE . . . DINNER - SESAME CHICKEN WITH NOODLES, CABBAGE AND PEPPERS . . . SNACKS - GRANOLA BAR . . . EXTRAS - WHOLE GRAIN NACHOS, POPCORN, CHOCOLATE, ARROWROOT COOKIES . . . EXERCISE JOURNAL . . . MORNING - 30 MINUTES BIKE INTERVAL . . . EVENING - NOTHING

DAY 43 . . .

FOOD JOURNAL . . . BREAKFAST - 2 SCRAMBLED EGG WHITES, 1/3 CUP OATMEAL, TEA . . . LUNCH - 1/2 TUNA IN PITA WITH TOMATOES . . . DINNER - CHICKPEA SALAD . . . SNACKS - 2 LOW FAT CHEESE STRINGS, APPLE . . . EXTRAS - YOGURT,1/2 BANANA, CHOCOLATES :( . . . EXERCISE JOURNAL . . . MORNING - 14 MINUTES - WALKED DAUGHTER TO SCHOOL, 30 MINUTES BIKE INTERVAL, 10 MINUTES MAT, 16 MINUTES TREADMILL INTERVAL, 20 MINUTES TAEBO . . . EVENING - 20 MINUTES BIKE - SPEED 25 (1)

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY . . .

Had a nice Mother's day. Woke up to a kiss and hug along with the words "happy mothers day, Do you know how much I love you? You are the best mother and wife anyone could ever ask for . . . Do you know how amazing you are? I forgot it was even mothers day!!! My daughter served me breakfast in bed with my favourite gossip magazine which I only get when we are at the cottage and a very nice card that she went to buy all by herself after school one day. Went for a nice walk, climbed a very steep hill we would never attempt to climb before and I made it to the top without hyperventilating - woo hoo!!! Found another amazing world at the top and we got to explore it. It was awesome!!! Slipped crossing a stream, but landed gracefully and only managed to twist my knee a bit. Everyone had a good laugh over that ;) Called my dad and wished him a happy mother's day as he has been both mom and dad for several years now. Had a surprise visit from someone I worked with 20 years ago. She gave me something for mothers day that was so dear to my heart. . . Timeless perfume!!! She brought tears to my eyes. She remembered after all these years that that was the perfume that my mom used to wear. I can't remember what I had for lunch and she remembered something I casually brought up 20 years ago. It made my day even more special. How wonderful to be surrounded by people who love you . . . a great feeling! Did pretty good eating this weekend except had some homemade peanut butter/flax cookies and a couple chocolates. Didn't go on bike or treadmill, but went hiking and for a very long walk both days, hope that was enough to keep my weight down. Am on track with one pound per week. Never thought I would be happy with that, but I am because it is staying off and I feel good. Friday night my husband bought me some new "lady" shirts and got rid of all my frumpy, old, over sized, "men" shirts and told me how great I looked in my new ones. I am no longer aloud to wear frumpy shirts anymore and I am OK with that. Happy Mothers day!!!

DREAMS . . .

As I sit outside having my tea, I start to think about the dreams I had as a child as well as an adult. I used to dream about being a figure skater and dancer. I tried skating way back when and lets just say that it wasn't something I saw myself doing in the future, you see you have to be some what coordinated (on skates)to pull it off and I was far from coordinated or graceful for that matter. Skating on your ankles isn't attractive no matter how you look at it!!! Dancing, I could have done, not sure why I never did, but to this day wished I had. My kids tell me to go and do it, a couple friends wanted to go with me, but there was always something holding me back . . . too old, over weight, embarrassed, no time, too expensive, you name it. NOW! For some reason I am happy to say that I can actually see myself taking an adult dance class and look forward to that day. I can now visualize myself skinny and dancing, I am even skinny in my dreams. Silly as it may sound, this is actually a big thing for me. I am now seeing and believing it, not just doing it and that makes me happy. I have decided that when I reach my ½ way goal (-30lbs)I will treat myself to an adult dance class and see what I have been missing and who knows maybe my retirement goals will be reached some day as well. The sky is the limit if you just believe!!!

DAY 37 . . .

FOOD JOURNAL . . . BREAKFAST - METAMUCIL, BRAN CEREAL WITH MILK, BOILED EGG, TEA . . . LUNCH - SPICY TOMATOE SOUP, 1/2 TURKEY, LETTUCE, TOMATOES IN 1/2 A PITA . . . DINNER - ORANGE . . . SNACKS - 6 ANIMAL CRACKERS. . . DINNER - 3 FISH STICKS. . . . EXTRAS - . . . EXERCISE JOURNAL . . . MORNING - 20 MINUTES TREADMILL, 10 MINUTES BIKE, 4 MINUTES PUNCHING BAG . . . EVENING -0